It’s cuffing season
Stay woke ladies!
“It’s cuffing season and now we’ve got a reason” so goes the song by SZA. There are plenty of memes around the topic, but what is cuffing season and what do we need to know about it.
Cuffing season is the time of year between late August and December when people decide couple up, to get through the cold dark winter months. Much like how squirrels store nuts for the winter, this is the relationship equivalent. Usually anyone who’s fallen foul of cuffing season gets broken up with after Valentine’s Day. The last couple of event in the cycle. With now spring now on the horizon, that old winter pseudo relationship, much like those dusty winter cobwebs, has to go!
Who is susceptible to cuffing season?
Anyone! Men and women both can be “cuffed” for the winter. Its usually brought about by a fear of suddenly being alone, through the months were lots of activities are about being in a relationship; Christmas, New years, Valentine’s Day.
When does it start?
This is somewhat weather dependent. The warmer it is towards the end of the summer, the later the season starts. I’ve had messages as early as August and as late as mid December. Given how unseasonably warm it is this year, I think we’re in for a later start.
How does it start?
Usually with a ‘hey you’ message or ‘hey stranger’. If you get those anyway, you should immediately block them, but during cuffing season, defences are lowered.
The above is perfect example of cuffing season message, right on schedule. I’ve not even responded to this chap, I believe we spoke briefly in March, we never met up, yet he’s breezed in, super casual with some shameless cuffing season messaged. I did not respond.
Sometimes I’d even receive them from old Hinge likes, who I hadn’t even matched with.
Note the date of the like and the date of the match. It’s a classic example of a last minute desperate scroll through old ‘likes’ to see if anyone is suitable for the season. The reason this is cuffing season as opposed to a regular match, is because of the length of time between the like and the match, coupled with the time of year.
Note; I don’t take any of this personally! See previous article for more details.
You had a first date, what now?
First dates are a bit like the first pancake, sometimes it’s the best one, sometimes you have to throw it in the bin and sometimes you don’t know whether it’ll be ok until you try it. Whether you want to see this person again or not, I’ve provided some helpful post date tips and flags to avoid. I’m all about helping you avoid those flags.
Who will try to cuff you?
Anyone! An old flame, an old friend but in my experience, it’s usually guys you had a few dates with throughout the year, usually who ghosted me after. Sometimes it was from guys I’d never even met but had matched with on dating apps, and ghosted me before we got to that point of meeting. Always the ‘hey you’ - a conciliatory opener in an attempt to mitigate their previously poor behaviour.
It’s your choice if you choose to engage. If they’d previously ghosted me, I did sometimes engage to have a bit of fun, but otherwise I said no thank you. You see it’s not a compliment when someone comes out the blue like that. They hadn’t been secretly thinking about you all this whole time. It’s usually because they were seeing someone else, it didn’t work out. Instead of subjecting themselves to horror of the hard work of Hinge, they scroll through their contacts till they find someone viable. Hence the ‘hey you’. Note this isn’t just confined to cuffing season, an old match, returning is usually as a result of the above. In my experience they always ghost again.
Should you give cuffing season a chance?
If you genuinely do want someone casual to cuddle up with for the winter, and if both parties are aware that it’s a pseudo relationship, with an end point in spring, then go for it. If not, then it’s usually a recipe for hurt feelings come the new year.
Personally, I never cuffed up. I wanted something serious and I knew cuffing season was only temporary. It didn’t want waste time with one person, I was not very interested in or who wasn’t very interested in me. I also knew there was risk that I would get used to the comfort and end up settling, for fear of starting again. Cuffing season was not for me, but I know people who cuff up and enjoy it. Some people couple up with the same partners the following year. They usually aren’t looking for anything serious, so it works for them.
Stay woke ladies
Is a common phrase used around this time of year. If you’re new to the dating scene, the ‘hey you’ messages can be confusing. The result is that you fall into a cuffing season relationship without even knowing it. Hopefully the above will prevent that from happening. But just in case- stay woke ladies!